A Gift.....
The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken
aback, for I do not think of myself as old.
Upon seeing my reaction, he was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it
was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let him know.
Growing Older, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my
life, the person I have always wanted to be.
Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy
eyes, and the cellulite.
And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I
don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family
for less gray hair or a flatter belly.
As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've
become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or
for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant-garde
on my patio. I am entitled to be messy, to be extravagant and smell the flowers.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon, before they
understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I
choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and then sleep until -- ?
I
will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's & 60's, and if I, at
the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and
will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying
glances from the bikini set.
They, too, will get old. (if they're lucky)
I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember
the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.
How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers,
or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us
strength and understanding and compassion.
A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of
being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn
gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my
face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn
silver.
I can say "no," and mean it.
I can say "yes." and mean it.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being older.
It has set me free.
I like the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste
time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall
eat dessert every single day... (if I want).
Today,
I
wish you a day of ordinary miracles.
Love simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.